


Whisper on the Wind

by CreateInsanity



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Plot Twist, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 06:21:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3718366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreateInsanity/pseuds/CreateInsanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick wants to propose to Daryl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whisper on the Wind

**Author's Note:**

> For an explanation of why this and my other works were taken down and why the others are still not up - Please read the End Notes!  
> This has been edited, but please do excuse any remaining errors.

Rick wakes up to a cold, uncomfortable lump landing on him.

He gasps, sitting up with a start and pushing the wet towel off of his stomach. He’s almost embarrassed, primarily because he’s had lesser reactions then that to unexpected swarms of Walkers, but he was asleep, and it was _cold_ , and holy shit.

Daryl’s walking up to him, and Rick supposes it must’ve been his towel seen as how he’s got water droplets running from his hair, landing in abstract patterns along the woodwork as he saunters his way to where Rick is sitting, propped up against the headboard with the sheets tangled around his thighs.

He’s naked, and that certainly helps abate any lingering irritation Rick had harbored over the rude awakening.

Daryl sits himself on the bed at Rick’s feet, crawling himself into the space between Rick’s legs and lying there. He licks his lips, watching the way Rick’s cock jerks, trailing a finger through the bead of pre-cum forming at the tip. 

He leans forward, curls his hand around the base of Rick’s cock and laps at the head, only taking it into his mouth when Rick’s desperate hands trail red nail marks over his shoulders.

Rick can hear the echo of his heavy breathing as easily as he can hear the slick noises of Daryl’s mouth around his cock, the little gags as the head hits the back of his throat and it’s a turn on if Rick’s ever heard one.

But not quite as much as when Daryl pulls his mouth off, settling his head into the crook of Rick’s hip and panting against his sensitive skin. He’s whining slightly, and Rick can see him bucking his hips into his own fist.

Rick twists his fingers into Daryl hair, pulling his head up and back to his cock. Daryl takes him in eagerly, sucking on him as he pumps his own cock into his hand and Rick can tell when Daryl’s orgasm hits because the vibrations of his moan along Rick’s cock triggers his own.

They lie like that for a moment, Daryl panting out stuttering breaths against Rick’s thigh, before he pushes himself up and makes eye contact.

He crawls his way up to his lap, pressing both his hands to the headboard as he straddles Rick’s legs, settling himself onto his thighs. He drops his hands from the headboard, moving them to cup Rick’s face, tilting his head up until he can lean down and kiss him.

Rick hums happily, all thoughts of unconventional wake up methods forgotten as he leans into the kiss, gasping into Daryl’s mouth at the feel of fingers twisting into his hair and tugging.

He runs a hand up Daryl’s back, catching water droplets on their unsettled descent from Daryl’s head and dragging them back up to tangle in his damp hair. He pulls, forcing Daryl’s lips to part from his, not expecting Daryl’s teeth to latch onto his bottom lip and cling, letting it slide through them as he’s pulled back. His hands are forced to detangle themselves from Rick’s own hair and he throws them back against the sheets, parallel to Rick’s shins, allowing his back to form the arch Rick so wanted to create.

Rick groans, low and long, both at the sight Daryl makes, and the feel of his ass as he writhes against his sensitive cock.

It’s easy enough for Rick to slip his legs out from under Daryl’s elevated position, pulling Daryl’s own shins out from underneath him as he goes and pushing him off balance, causing him to fall back onto the sheets, his head coming to rest just under the foot board. 

Rick sits still for a moment, appreciating the view that greats him as the early morning light brightens the room, casting rustic orange patterns over the bed and illuminating Daryl’s skin in mottled patches. He meets Daryl’s eyes, the pupils blown out less because of the shadows bathed over them and more because of arousal.

Daryl shifts, reaching for Rick, and in doing so his head falls into a patch of sunlight. The blue of his eyes chases away the black, shielding themselves from the light that is startling if not harsh. Rick decides, in that moment, that the pupil is a bad judge of arousal. As while the black of Daryl’s eyes was stunning in its endlessness, it’s emptiness that had appeared so full, it’s bottomless depth that suddenly brimmed with affection, with longing, with desire; the blue was all-consuming.

It was wave upon wave of love, of admiration, of need, it was both timid and strong, both excited and anxious, and Rick could see how many times these eyes had been rejected, how many times this look had been greeted with nothing more than damnation. He couldn't understand how anyone could resist the pull. 

Daryl’s eyes were like riptides; relentless in their assault and Rick was helpless but to succumb to such an unabated current. 

He leans forward, watches those eyes flutter closed. The feeling doesn't diminish, and Rick supposes it’s more directly linked to Daryl himself then he gives credit for. That it’s the soul, the feel, the entity of whatever it is that makes them human that causes Rick to be so ensnared in everything Daryl is. 

And God, he hopes that being so lost in Daryl means he’ll never lose him.

“I love you.” It’s breathed into the room, creeping as slowly as the sunlight along the sheets and Rick watches Daryl’s eye soften, sees the waves calm and wonders how it’s possible to breathe so easily when you feel so much like you’re drowning.

“I love you too.” Daryl's voice is hoarse, his lips red. Rick thinks he’s absolutely beautiful and is struck by the sudden urge for commitment, to find a ring and to get down on one knee. He wants to marry Daryl, wants to love him forever, cherish him forever. It’s unsuspected, but not surprising and Rick wonders why he hadn't thought this sooner, makes a mental note to find a ring.

“We have a run today.” Rick says, and it doesn't ruin the mood like it used to. Instead, Daryl turns over, burying his head into the duvet and stretching like a cat. Rick watches him settle, waits for him to look over his shoulder and make eye contact and plasters himself to his back when he does.

Daryl grunts as if in pain, but Rick knows he’s only joking, that he likes to make out that Rick’s a weight on him, heavy enough to cause any actual discomfort.

They both know it’s not true, the burden of each other is one they gladly bear.

“Just us?” Daryl asks, because since they’d got to Alexandria the groups had altered, and it was uncommon that Rick and Daryl where actually put on the same run anymore.

“Just us.” Rick says, leaning his head down and placing open mouthed kisses against Daryl’s shoulder, relishing in the fact that Daryl’s comfortable enough to let him do that now, that past pains are no longer an issue in their relationship, just building blocks and bridges.

“Well in that case,” Daryl mumbles, looking over his shoulder and giving Rick a lazy smile.

“How’d you wanna do this, Rick?”

“Rick?”

“Rick!”

Rick startles, his eyelids opening and suddenly he’s looking into Glenn’s face rather than Daryl’s.

“You alright?” Maggie asks, and Rick looks over to see her and Deanna leaning over their current map of Alexandria. He feels a bit startled, and his eyes ache slightly, his eyelids battling with the pressing need to go back to sleep. 

“Yeah, I-”

“You must’ve fallen asleep.” Glenn says, still stood in front of the chair Rick must’ve dozed off in. “It’s no surprise, you've been working too hard, we all know that, but you need to remember to sleep.”

“I’m fine.” Rick says, wiping a hand over his eyes and standing from his chair, walking over to join Maggie and Deanna as they look over the map. They all look at him for a minute and Rick’s pretty sure they don’t believe him but he can’t understand why. The group’s gone plenty longer than that without sleep in the past.

“Alright.” Deanna says anyway, and everyone’s eyes fall away from his face and back down to the map. “Like we were saying, we were thinking of altering the watch router, we’re thinking that the three hour shifts are a little too long for night time, a lot of people have been going up to change shift and finding that the people before them have fallen asleep.”

Rick nods, they’d had the same kind of problem with the Woodbury people at the prison, those who hadn't already adapted to irregular sleeping patterns weren't very good and keeping themselves awake in the dark, no matter the list of threats they faced on a daily basis.

“Push it down to two hours, if people are still having trouble we can always switch them to daytime watch and have the more experienced lookouts take the night shifts.” Rick says, watching Deanna nod her head and Maggie jot something down on a notebook, placing a piece of ripped up sticky note on the page and adding the corresponding color to the watch tower on the map.

“Well, if that’s all…” Rick says, leaning his shoulder towards the door and taking a few steps towards it. He watches Maggie fiddle with her wedding ring and is once again filled with the urge to just ask, despite the lack of preparation, of a ring.

“We’ll need you back here tomorrow, but that’s all for now.” Deanna says, folding up the map and taking the notebook from Maggie. 

Rick doesn't stay around for the pleasantries that no doubt follow, his mind discarding any thought of work from his mind and focusing back in on Daryl. 

Once he focuses on Daryl, he can’t seem to stop. He thinks about Daryl in bed, about Daryl on hunts, about the way his hair changed from sandy blond to brown auburn as it grew, about Daryl’s happiness and the way Rick wishes he could see it more often, about how Daryl looked when he was scared and how Rick never wanted to see it again.

He thinks, with resounding clarity, that despite the world being in ruins, despite the social constructs of humane society falling through the cracks and becoming null and void, he wants that sense of normality. He craves that knowledge of mutual possession, mutual love. 

He really wants to marry Daryl.

And he doesn't care about the fact that he hasn't got a ring, that it won’t be signed on paper and photographed and kept behind panes of glass that strip the whole event of its intimacy for naught but the possession of keepsakes.

He wants to marry Daryl because he loves him, wants Daryl to know the extent of that, wants to never again see Daryl look down at his wedding ring in their clasped hands and think he’s the replacement, the second best.

Rick looks up, sees Daryl in the distance and think that it must be a damn sign.

He’s sat down, leaning against the wall and looking at something off to his left and Rick can’t even make out his features from this far away but he knows he looks beautiful because Daryl always does.

Taking in a deep breath, Rick steels himself and walks over.

He doesn't look up at Daryl, knows if he meets those eyes he’ll forget what he wanted to say and in trying to think about it, he’ll over think the whole situation and never manage to get the damn question out. 

Sitting down by Daryl’s side feels right, feels like coming home and while they’re not touching Rick can feel the connection, can feel the bond.

He doesn't let himself be nervous, doesn't let himself over think the intricate list of possible reactions Daryl could have. He won’t allow himself to equate this, to start with Daryl and add Rick, to divide by differences, take away a loving family from one side and multiply by two children on another.

He doesn't want to think this, he wants to feel it.

“I wanna ask you a question.” Daryl doesn't answer, and Rick thinks that’s a good thing. He doesn't know if he could stumble his way through this if someone interrupted him. “I don’t really know how to say it, and I know I've gotta say it now because if I don’t I never will. Not because I don’t want to, just because…” Rick trails off, fiddles with his wedding ring. “I love you so much and I don’t want to mess that up. I just want you to know, for _everyone_ to know how much I love you, how much you mean to me.”

Rick stops, because his voice if trembling, takes a minute so that these words come out steady, come out confident.

“Will you marry me?”

He doesn't hear the expulsion of breath from Daryl’s chest so much as he knows that would be his first response, and the seconds of uncertainty, where he doesn't know whether it resonates with relief, or happiness, or exasperation, are the tensest of Rick’s life.

“That’s not gonna work Rick.”

“What do you mean? Why?” He still doesn't look at Daryl, doesn't want to see his expression. Whether it’s anger or resignation or simply too much hurt in one person’s head to even think of committing to someone else like that.

“You know what I mean Rick, and you _know_ why.” Daryl’s voice sounds sad, and Rick still can’t fucking look at him, because what if this is it. He doesn't want to see that on Daryl’s face, see that his petty wants have fucked up everything they have together. Maybe he’s pushed Daryl too far, too fast. He knows how hard this has been for Daryl, how long it’s taken to be comfortable and he just had to go and fuck it up.

“Think about who you’re talking to Rick, _think_ about it.”

“I’m talking to you, it’s always you, it’s only you, I don’t get why that’s a problem-”

“Rick.” It’s Glenn’s voice that startles Rick out of his internal panic, makes him look up for the first time since he’d sat by Daryl’s side. Rick wonders why the hell he’s here, because surely he can see that this is a private conversation, an important one.

“Who’re you talking to Rick?”

Rick gives Glenn a look, wondering if he was feeling alright, because Daryl’s sat right beside him, he think it’s pretty obvious.

“I was talking to Dar-”

He turns around as he says it, his eyes expecting to meet with tidal wave baby blues.

There’s nothing there, and for a minute Rick is ridiculously confused, before his eyes shift slightly to the left, his gaze falling onto a wooden cross with a red rag tied round it.

His breath caches in his throat, a lump forming in his lungs and refusing to budge.

_Oh._

“No one…” It’s stammered, uncertain and Rick doesn't know how he can expect Glenn to believe it when he doesn't believe it himself.

Thinks that it’s a damn lie anyway. He was talking to the most important person ever.

Glenn leaves eventually, when he sees that Rick isn't going to do anything but sit there and stare. And that’s when Rick lets himself stand up, lets his hands reach up into his hair and _pull_. He pulls to feel, pulls to _hurt_ , because his mind’s played some pretty awful tricks on him since the end of the world but this is by far the worst.

Making him think he could still be happy, making him think he could still be whole, making him think Daryl was…

He has to bite the back of his hand to mute the sob that crawls its way out of his throat and if Rick could he’d find it funny that it feels like he can’t breathe but he can still find it in himself to cry.

Rick thinks of their morning together, their run to a nearby town. He remembers how happy Daryl had been to be alone with him, how relaxed they were, how when Rick had tripped over a fallen cabinet and scraped up his hand Daryl had passed him the red rag from his pocket with one hand and held in laughs with another.

It must’ve been his fault, because it was him being noisy, him being a damn idiot, him not paying attention and that had drawn the damn herd.

And the Daryl that had been so happy had been so scared and Rick remembers running and wanting to give him the rag back because _‘You’re bleeding Daryl, you need it more.’_

Daryl had looked at him, looked down the corridor at the door they were running for, looked at the mass of Walkers gaining on them. _‘It’s a bite Rick, there’s no point.’_

_‘I’m not leaving you.’_

_‘You've got Carl, Judith, you need to get back Rick and we both know a herd that size is gonna break that damn door down.’_

They’d reached the door, and Daryl had grabbed Rick and pushed him through it just as the Walkers caught him.

Rick doesn't know how he managed to get through the drive back to Alexandria. _‘You've got Carl, Judith’_ was probably the only thing that kept him going.

Rick stands in front of all he has left of Daryl, with his head in his hands and wonders why he does this to himself, what he ever did to make himself think that torturing himself was the proper way to cope with loss.

He feels a weight settle behind him but he doesn't turn. Thinks that it must be one of the others, about how much he doesn't want them to have to see their leader breaking down again. See him _weak._

“You know, if you’d asked me earlier-”

Arms settle around his waist, strong arms, familiar arms, and that voice resonates through Rick with such a deep sense of love that Rick’s instantly blinded by the tears that blur his vision again. He lifts an uncertain hand, lets it hover over corded muscle before resting it on tan skin, allowing it to overlap the arms around him. He feels the breeze hit his back and knows that Daryl’s gone before he actually sees him disappear, realizes Daryl hadn't even finished his damn sentence.

He laughs, and it’s bitter and violent and it hurts his throat and Rick can’t think past the idea that if it hadn't he’d be screaming. 

Then, so quietly, so satin soft that it’s barely a whisper on the wind.

_‘I would've said yes.’_

**Author's Note:**

> This, as well as my other works, were taken down through no fault of anyone else. I was being an idiot. You have all been so lovely and I was so upset at myself for deleting the things you had blatantly showed me appreciation for. So many of you wrote me lovely comments, and gave kudos and bookmarked my stories with lovely things and I appreciate them so much, and because of me, they're gone.
> 
> In all honesty, I just got a bit overwhelmed. I was timid in the original posting of these fics and after reading them through I got embarrassed and took them down, selfishly thinking that no one else would notice. 
> 
> Everyone should offer much love to snazzelle who has been absolutely lovely and had a chat to me over on tumblr, assuring me that no one would hate me for posting them back up after I so selfishly removed them for stupid reasons. As well as one other lovely reader, (grimesndixon on tumblr) who asked about my fics after I had taken them down and helped me realize I was being an idiot.
> 
> The others will be posted again once they are edited and they will not be taken down. I've learned my lesson and I hope all of you will forgive me.
> 
> For this work in particular, I have rectified my 'warning mistake' for those of you who were (very justified in being) annoyed. I am sorry for that, and it was my fault. I did write the three who mentioned it individual comments apologizing for the error but my deleting of the fics meant you couldn't read them and I'm very sorry about that.


End file.
